"Hope Does Not Dissapoint" - Romans 5:5

The verse is talking about the results of trials being this

"hope that does not disappoint."

That phrase lingered in my mind tonight as I drove home from meeting with my mentor. Those words met me at a place where I've found myself shying away from words like hope, great expectations, or promises fulfilled...and instead, I find myself more comfortable with verbage of a cynic. I have to be honest, I found myself thinking, "That's a really bold statement. If I was Paul, making that statement, I probably would have felt the need to pad it with a lot of qualifiers so that we're not REALLY bitter when hope does disappoint."

I'm still processing it.

There seems to be this cause and effect pattern in this verse:

God's cause and effect for trials is:

Trials>Perseverance>Character

= Hope

.But why does it seem to play out differently in my life as I often maneuver and survive my way through "trials" in my life? This cause-effect patten often looks more like this...

My cause and effect:

Trials>

A lot of self talk of this not being fair or what am I doing or not doing to cause this>

determination to 'get through' this>

viewing 'happiness' as the desired end>

pride in making it through>

fear of it happening again

= Bitterness and disappointment if and when it does

Complete opposite result from God's.

It's led me to wonder, "How do I tangibly live out these trials so that God has His work through these difficult experiences rather than Satan?

Evie (my mentor) taught me tonight about the value of living life with

"palms up".

That there's a relinquishing that is part of tribulation...letting go of personal desire, motive, agendas, way of processing and desired ends. Letting God change my perspective of the trial so to develop His perspective of life and this world...

the very definition of wisdom.

But how? How do I live "palms up" actively when all I want to do is the opposite? When I go through trials, I often let Satan pour fear into my heart. And with that, I live out the reflex of fear which is the need to control. So, you can imagine my excitement as I looked at the rest of the verse:

"And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us"

Love...the very thing that God said will cast out fear. So often, I reject His love and choose fear. I have sooo much to learn!

So, this is my prayer this week:

That God would soften this heart and open it wide so He can pour His love in my heart. And that His love will turn my "palms up" as He has His way in my heart and life through this valuable experience called trial.

Thanks for letting me "think aloud"...I don't mean to be confusing. :)